New brother

Greetings. It is with great pleasure that I introduce our newest family member...
... FATomir.
Unlike my little brother Faromir, Fatomir is larger than me.
Such enormity makes hiding from the camera difficult.
I see you!
Umm...
Yes, just accept it.
Beefcake!

Hamdemic!

Has anyone else noticed that the water has been tasting a bit odd?
Perhaps something has contaminated the water supply. This could very well be a...
Pandemic! ... Expansion edition.
I wonder if Mater or Pater would fancy a game.First I will find the source of the outbreak...
... A bioterrorist! In our water supply!

I am an elegant ham!

And professionally photographed too.

Extreme Makeover: Ham edition

It has been brought to my attention that I have been recently depicted as frumpy, unkempt, unhygienic, even grouchy... Well, it wasn't my fault - the hired help hadn't cleaned my pad in weeks!

So I bribed them with a pecan, and now I am a new ham...
Notice the clean soft coat, the smell of wheat...
I am so shiny, I can even see my reflection in the mirror!
Alas, witness my powerful hamgams.
I am good as new!
Jolly good day to you!

Baby brother grows a name

Without further adieu, the new name for baby brother is...

Faromir!
I guess Mater is a big Lord of the Rings fan.
Just be glad you didn't end up Gimli or Bilbo.

Faro can fit anywhere...

He also blends in like a chameleon.

Once Faromir left the shire, he never wanted to return...
Goodbye baby brother!

Prison break

Breaking news: Miscreant hamster jailed for public urination

I prison break!

Breaking news: Ham on the lam apprehended!

Why hello there. I see you've caught me plotting my escape.

For this trick, I will require a pleasant demeanor...

... and a spacious set of jowls.

That's right - I am not Hamhead. I am Maggie! Mistaken identity!

Yes, yes... look how tame I am.

You're next, buddy.

The land of the free and the home of the brave

Sometimes party time for humans results in neglected children.

I want to party too. Someone call PETA!
Meanwhile, in a land not so far, far away...

Redeye to base, redeye to base...
I have escaped internment and infiltrated the Two Legs den.
This impressive sound system tells me we have teleported to the 1980s.
Redeye to big brother, redeye to big brother: status report requested.
Umm... nothing much. Just sitting on my freckled balls.
Waituminute...
What are you doing out there?
* ROOAAAAAARRRR!!! *