May is for Mayham

Perhaps you have heard about the rare kiwi that recently hatched in New Zealand.

Well, in my heyday, I encountered my fair share of kiwis.
So let me ask you this: rare bird or elaborate hoax?

White Hams Can't Jump

I am 20 months old!

All my half-birthdays are belated.

Dear God, thank you for bestowing upon me this lovely meal. I'm sure it looks lovely too, but did you know that hamsters are colorblind?

Next time just sweet corn and tofu, okay?

Now to wash my hands...

It is not every day that I am allowed on the couch. I must show my good manners.

Lo and behold, I even eat my vegetables!

How prim and proper! What is that you say? My foot?
That is called being ambidextrous!
Happy 1.5 years to me!

I am a male model

Why hello. Welcome to Playham Magazine.
You know what they say about guys with big hands, right? Well, I actually only have one big swollen hand. Maybe I could be in "Idle hands 2."
Blue steel!
Notice how my tousled hair ripples in the breeze.
Sumo squat.
Shouldn't someone be throwing rice my way?

The sun also rises

Why hello there. I see you've caught me taking a water break.
And here I am in happier times.
April was a rough month for me. I had my front right paw slammed in a sliding door. And my parents abandoned me and went on vacation!
For a while I just moped around and listened to depressing music.
My aunties Robyn and Elaine took good care of me while my paw healed. You two are the best!
Enjoying the sunset from my porch.

Betrayed!

And by the one closest to me. :( One day you are on top of the world...

And the next, you hear of a horrible plot to assassinate you! They will lure you with the freedom of the outside place, only to slam your dreams in a sliding door.
How would you feel?
I... can't look.
Nooooo...

Your cameras are useless!

How would you like it if people posted embarrassing photos of you online? It is a good thing that I am too fast for photos!
And I am a master of camouflage.
And I can always just hide in the dark. Your cameras are no match for me!
Wait ~ what is this?
Well, nothing I can't outrun...
...
Hiding from the paparazzi, one works up quite an appetite. Is that a pube in the corner?
Ahh, I give up.
Not my proudest moment: Flash photography edition