Fan mail

I suppose it's time to take a break from my busy routine and read some fan mail.

This first letter appears to be from my Uncle Jones. I'm not sure what it's supposed to be.
Another bewildering entry.
And here is something from Mahter. I bowl with blueberries!

Oh brother where art thou?

Just the other day, a great explorer came around the bend and discovered something new...
Redeye!!
To give you a little background, I once had a brother who looked exactly like me, only with red eyes. I miss my brother.
It's amazing how you can live somewhere for almost 2 years without running into one of your neighbors.
This guy must be a recluse!
But he kind of looks like me with a bleach job.
Definitely sue your barber.
Anyways, you will be my new brother. Oh jolly day!
And here's a baby photo of him. Kind of reminds me of someone...

The father of the nummy nummy

This is not a social visit...

Who's your daddy now?

I am extremely well endowed

Oh happy day! My government grant has blessed me with a whole peanut!

Such a large peanut can make for quite the balancing act.
But I make it work.
All hail the father of the nummy nummy.

Hamhead and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Sometimes the paparazzi try to take embarrassing photos of me.

Well, too bad!

Photo shop is closed!

I mean it. Go away!

Wait... what is this? Apple covered in nummy nummy? Seems suspicious, but...

...
...

The Wheel Deal

Pater always says, "We're not paying you to not run on your wheel."


Sometimes I run all night long!

May is for Mayham

Perhaps you have heard about the rare kiwi that recently hatched in New Zealand.

Well, in my heyday, I encountered my fair share of kiwis.
So let me ask you this: rare bird or elaborate hoax?